Random thought: love, love, love

One of my friends broke up with her boyfriend several days ago. She told me that she felt guilty because she was the one who proposed that. Though they are still in love with each other, it is difficult for them to continue this relationship. The biggest problem for them is poor communication. It seems that they have no idea how to express precisely what they have in mind.

So here comes a question: should the first one proposing break-up feel guilty? Does effective communication really help relationship work?

Of course I feel sorry for her. I would never want to see my friends feel guilty, bad, or sad. However, why feeling guilty? We all know that sometimes love is not the only important thing in a relationship. And relying on love only can never help us stay in a relationship as long as we wish.

Fine, so love is not enough. How about communication? Does it help? To be honest, it helps a little, but not a lot. Communication is not only expressing yourself but also understanding what other people say. Unfortunately, when we say we want to communicate, we seem to be eager to express us first. We want to be understood. Understanding the other one? Well, maybe. But if couples fight again over the same question, it proves that communication never works out. Sounds negative, doesn’t it?

Fortunately, I am the person always looking at the bright side. Here is a very useful tip for me all the time: jump before your leap. Before deciding to stay in a relationship, make sure you have similar opinion about things. Of course, your might have very distinct personalities, but remember to see if you think in similar ways. If so, you can save time and have less difficulty communicating with each other.

You are the most welcome to leave your comment if you think there are some other things important besides similar thoughts. You can also try to convince me if you think love is the only important thing in a relationship. Thanks for your time!

My picky opinion about using languages

I was teaching in a quiet coffee shop this afternoon, but it wasn't quite anymore since several girls came in speaking English loudly. In the very beginning, I didn't know if they are Taiwanese or not. Yet, after a few minutes, I realized that they are actually Taiwanese because they started to talk in Mandarin. They kept being the most noisy group in the shop. In their conversation, it's about half Mandarin and half English. Among the English part, the most words I heard is "shit". Yes, "shit". It's really uncomfortable hearing that from time to time, especially from girls at the age of 13-15.

It is a very interesting phenomenon in Taiwan: we tend to admire people who speak fluent English. English is one of the subjects in school, but very few people really like English and use it well. That's the reason why people envy those with proficient English ability, especially speaking ability (because you can only know if a person's English is good from his/her speaking ability at first)

Consequently, you can always find people speaking English loudly but not really fluently in public places. Sometimes I call it sort of "show off".

From a very picky perspective, if you want to speak a language, just use it thoroughly. It is reasonable sometimes if you happen to forget how to say a word in your non-native language. But using English WORDS when you speak Chinese?? That's very weird. It shows nothing but how bad both your English and Chinese are. Because you can not say a whole sentence in English, and also not be able to know how to say the ENGLISH WORD in CHINESE. Of course, if you are in English class or having language exchange, that would be a totally different situation. Instead, students who try hard to express themselves are supposed to be encouraged.

How Much Is Much Enough?

A friend of my friend had question about applying for membership on a site. I was the only one he knows who's done that, so he asked for my help.

We met in a coffee shop close to where I teach, and, of course, we chatted a bit while being on the net.

When he knew that I am pretty busy everyday. He asked, "since you are so busy, how do you have time to be in a relationship?"


I answered, "there won't be a boyfriend popping up just because I have enough free time. And if I had one, having not enough time or being too busy would not be an excuse to break up."

I don't think this is a time matter. When he/she wants to break up with you, there are always lots of good reasons. When he/she is really in love with you from the bottom of the heart, distance, time, or even race is not even a problem. Besides, thanks to invention of technology, we have various ways now to communicate with people instantly. We don't even to be in the same place to talk to someone! I am sure there are so many ways to show that you still love and are concerning about your boyfriend/girlfriend.

Still, this is a very interesting question. How much time means enough time? 24 hours a day? Two hours a day? Do we really need a SCHEDULE when it comes to dealing with our relationship?

New Semester

Hi my dear friends, sorry for not updating as much as possible, but I am unbelievably busy in the new semester!! That is, I take 3 graduate courses and 1 undergraduate one this semester. It is supposed to be easier that last semester because I took 5 in total (4 graduate and 1 under).

I don't know what happened to professors during winter vacation. They assign so much homework and presentation in this semester. I almost have to hand in one assignment and do one presentation each week, not to mention preparation and review.

So I think I don't have much time left this semester. But I'll try my best to update as soon as possible, and, or course, beautiful photos about Taiwan.

Presidential Election

Presidential election comes this Saturday. I myself will definitely vote for the one I support firmly.

The reason to stand for him is simple: I love Taiwan, and I certainly don't want China to get involved too much in our domestic affairs. Moreover, allow me to remind those who think Taiwan is part of Mainland China: Taiwan is never a part of China if you carefully read and understand history of China.

Relationship with China makes the election more clear. I don't really buy the promises from both side, and I don't even like both them. But I will choose the one who precisely show China we Taiwan's standpoint. It's not something making friends. Too friendly at the very beginning will leas us to an embarrassing situation. As a result, China wants more and more.

Though the one I want to vote for seems not having the election in his pocket, I will still pray for him. :p

Kosovo's Declaration of Independence

Congratulation on Kosovo's declaration of independence though this new state still has a long way to go.

The government sent to congratulate. However, mainland China claimed that Taiwan is not qualified to recognize Kosovo since it is not a recognized state.

It takes time and effort to fight for what we are supposed to be. Keeping going, my beloved Taiwan!

Major Problems Graduate Students in Taiwan Encounter

The major problems for graduate students in Taiwan universities are self-understanding, learning attitude, and job application. This essay will focus on the three main problems as well as suggestion toward these two problems.

There are very few students in Taiwan ever trying to understand himself or herself. Since the age of seven, most students are taught to care about nothing but only to study hard for the best scores and the best schools. That is usually because most parents regard academic background as the most important thing in the world. Elementary school, junior high school, senior high school, university, and eventually graduate school are the goals that almost every student is asked to achieve. It is very possible that some students never try to understand what they like or what they want. As a result, they are not really sure if they’d like to study in graduate school for advanced knowledge. The only thing certain for them is that they will receive a diploma after 2 or 3 years.


Not understanding themselves, some students go to graduate school with no aim. They are not sure if they will apply for a job after graduation or go for a PhD degree. Also, the lack of self-understanding makes it difficult to look for a thesis topic for these students because they are not even sure what topic they are interested in. Moreover, it might be hard to ask graduate students in Taiwan to have critical thinking as they are always told to memorize as much as possible, in order to pass every entrance exam. Therefore, students in Taiwan, not just graduate students, tend to believe everything on the book. There will be nothing new created or invented if people always believe and trust what books tell them.

Due to the education system in Taiwan mentioned above, it is sometimes very necessary for graduate students to improve their learning attitude. If a student is very good at exams, he or she will be easily forgiven for something wrong he/she does. Take punctuality as an example, it seems that people do not think attending class on time is important and necessary. Also, graduate students seldom study actively. Some of these graduate students even think it is more than enough if they only finish reading the part teachers assigned. They spend little time searching for other useful information or materials. Usually they just expect to receive materials from teachers.

It is also worth mentioning the phenomenon of job application. Since most people take academic background as the most important thing in the world, graduating from graduate school means they are superior to other people, so they are supposed to have much better chances to get a job with fabulous title and handsome salary. However, academic background is not everything for executives in charge of personnel management. Personality, ability of co-operation, and many other things are also regarded as important as educational background. It is sometimes common in Taiwan that some people refuse to apply for jobs which they think not good enough. While getting older, they still depend of parents and do not even have a full-time job.

What can be the possible solution to these two problems? Firstly, think about self-improvement. Graduate students are supposed to have better learning attitude. Going to graduate school means another step of access to knowledge. It is necessary trying to learn actively and grab every change discussing with teachers. Also, development of critical thinking is important. While reading a book, graduate students should think about: “is the theory perfect enough?”, “is there any point I would argue against?”, and “is there any thing can be improved and revised?” Do not just believe what books tell. Try to analyze and review with your own point of view, not just someone else’s. And do not expect too much while applying for a job. Nobody was born as somebody. Only if the combination of education background and work experience will someone be admired and appreciated.

Secondly, let’s move on to the possible change of the educational policy. Educational policy in Taiwan leaves much to be desired. The government is supposed to consider vocational school as much important as other schools. Also, it is crucial to change the type of exams. The existing type of exams do not help student have critical thinking. The only thing students in Taiwan learn from the exams is to memorize everything to get the best scores. It would be great if the government tries to improve the content of textbooks, making them more interesting and practical, as well as give teachers training course to show them how to help students think independently rather than telling them what to do or what not to do.

In conclusion, this paper discusses three major problems graduate students in Taiwan encounter: self-understanding, learning attitude, and job application. They are not just independent causes but relating to each other. Also, this paper provides two possible solutions, including self-improvement and governmental policy. Changing policy of government sounds a little bit difficult, but it can be easy if everyone tries his/her effort solving these problems from now on. As a result, the government will eventually follow what people want.

Lotus

For more photos, please visit my flickr.

I went for a walk this morning, and I was surprised to see lotus in this season.


I introduced Lotus Pond in March, but I didn't get any photo about lotus at that time. Fortunately, I got some extremely pretty ones today. Thanks to my DC. :p

I'd like to share with everyone: whether you feel relaxing or not is not decided by the environment but your mind. Everything is beautiful when you want to enjoy your life. No matter how much money you make or how successful you are, you could be a person seeing every tiny thing of value in your life if you want!!

Concern or Control??

I am not that keen to some people who try to make good friends with me in a extremely short time. One of the characteristics of these people is that they keep asking you personal questions no matter if you like to answer it.

For this kind of people, being good friends means caring about you much (sometimes even too much) after they thought they've already known you as much as possible.

One of the sentences they usually like to say is, "please don't do this or that because I concern about you."

It is always tricky to tell from being concerned to being controlled in cases like this.

I still believe that there are some really good friends who care about me. They might suggest something helpful and useful rather than push me into something. Moreover, my good friends would listen to me about the whole situation and then say something, not just hurrying to judge before knowing everything.

I guess this kind of people like to show others that they are really smart and they can deal with any difficult problems. Whatever they hear, they try to impress you like that. But they don't really care if they give you the right suggestion because you don't even finish the first paragraph!!

Another reason I don't like this kind of people is that gossiping, gossiping, and gossiping. When they pretend to care about something of you, they are trying to talk behind you after 5 minutes. Looking forward to the bright side, you have someone always willing to help you if you want to play tricks to the whole office. :p

Random Thought: April 10

Taiwanese people think it is not auspicious if you get married at the age of 29, 39, 49, or any age ended with 9. I am 26 now (27 in August), but 28 at nominal age according to Taiwanese tradition. Therefore, the elder tend to tell me, “Get married as soon as possible”. Also, because I am female, it’s better for me go get married before 30, or I will be too old (wow, pretty scary!!).


Does it really matter? Well, at least not for me.

The point is not age but the person you’re getting married to, isn't it? And it won’t be a big deal if I live alone but happily.

The opinion of "getting married as soon as possible" is changing nowadays in Taiwan. Though several of my classmates in university got married right after we graduated, not everyone thinks as the same way now. Some of my friends have a long-term and serious relationship, but they don’t feel it necessary to go to the step of marriage. Others keep dating and enjoying the freedom of being single.

As for me, well, I don’t see any advantages of marriage yet until now (if you are reading this article, maybe you can give me some). And I haven’t met someone who makes me feel it awesome if we get married. It’s still hard to tell if I will get married before 29 or just in my lifetime. But it is the most important to follow what you really want inside your heart. Besides, just remember to think twice before you leap.

Language

(My 4-year-old students when I taught English in Kindergarten about 1 year ago.)


Most of us have known the story of Tower of Babel in Bible even you might not a Christian (including me). I like this story pretty much. We can’t communicate in the same language, so we can never work together; I mean really working together without suspicion, jealousy, or selfishness. Even though talking in the same language, it is also hard to tell if we know what people exactly mean.



According to Lao-tse, one of the greatest philosopher in ancient China and also my favorite, he thought the definition of every single word for everyone is not always precisely the same. We might have very familiar perspective about, say, “aggressive”, but the meaning of this word for you and me will never be 100% the same. Thus, while talking, it is not always possible to totally understand each other, not mentioned if you really express what you want to share.

So, “Tao”, the only truth in the world, is unspeakable.

Interesting, isn’t it?

Therefore, I have a very interesting question, is communication really important, useful, and helpful since we all have different definitions about different words?

Of course, we still understand and are understood everyday by language. And it is also the main reason to make us, human beings, so unique on earth.

However, for some people, communication means the intention to know somebody related to them much more. That’s very good and I am sure they will do their best to understand each other. But for others, sometimes they just want to CHANGE people around them because they rarely listen to what other people say but talking, talking, and talking about themselves. They want people to do something they like and they want. That’s not what we call “communication”.

Also, our actions speak for themselves. A very good way to know a person more might be to observe the behaviors even if without a single word.

So, what do you think about language, especially the spoken one?