Random thought: love, love, love

One of my friends broke up with her boyfriend several days ago. She told me that she felt guilty because she was the one who proposed that. Though they are still in love with each other, it is difficult for them to continue this relationship. The biggest problem for them is poor communication. It seems that they have no idea how to express precisely what they have in mind.

So here comes a question: should the first one proposing break-up feel guilty? Does effective communication really help relationship work?

Of course I feel sorry for her. I would never want to see my friends feel guilty, bad, or sad. However, why feeling guilty? We all know that sometimes love is not the only important thing in a relationship. And relying on love only can never help us stay in a relationship as long as we wish.

Fine, so love is not enough. How about communication? Does it help? To be honest, it helps a little, but not a lot. Communication is not only expressing yourself but also understanding what other people say. Unfortunately, when we say we want to communicate, we seem to be eager to express us first. We want to be understood. Understanding the other one? Well, maybe. But if couples fight again over the same question, it proves that communication never works out. Sounds negative, doesn’t it?

Fortunately, I am the person always looking at the bright side. Here is a very useful tip for me all the time: jump before your leap. Before deciding to stay in a relationship, make sure you have similar opinion about things. Of course, your might have very distinct personalities, but remember to see if you think in similar ways. If so, you can save time and have less difficulty communicating with each other.

You are the most welcome to leave your comment if you think there are some other things important besides similar thoughts. You can also try to convince me if you think love is the only important thing in a relationship. Thanks for your time!

How Much Is Much Enough?

A friend of my friend had question about applying for membership on a site. I was the only one he knows who's done that, so he asked for my help.

We met in a coffee shop close to where I teach, and, of course, we chatted a bit while being on the net.

When he knew that I am pretty busy everyday. He asked, "since you are so busy, how do you have time to be in a relationship?"


I answered, "there won't be a boyfriend popping up just because I have enough free time. And if I had one, having not enough time or being too busy would not be an excuse to break up."

I don't think this is a time matter. When he/she wants to break up with you, there are always lots of good reasons. When he/she is really in love with you from the bottom of the heart, distance, time, or even race is not even a problem. Besides, thanks to invention of technology, we have various ways now to communicate with people instantly. We don't even to be in the same place to talk to someone! I am sure there are so many ways to show that you still love and are concerning about your boyfriend/girlfriend.

Still, this is a very interesting question. How much time means enough time? 24 hours a day? Two hours a day? Do we really need a SCHEDULE when it comes to dealing with our relationship?