Random thought: love, love, love

One of my friends broke up with her boyfriend several days ago. She told me that she felt guilty because she was the one who proposed that. Though they are still in love with each other, it is difficult for them to continue this relationship. The biggest problem for them is poor communication. It seems that they have no idea how to express precisely what they have in mind.

So here comes a question: should the first one proposing break-up feel guilty? Does effective communication really help relationship work?

Of course I feel sorry for her. I would never want to see my friends feel guilty, bad, or sad. However, why feeling guilty? We all know that sometimes love is not the only important thing in a relationship. And relying on love only can never help us stay in a relationship as long as we wish.

Fine, so love is not enough. How about communication? Does it help? To be honest, it helps a little, but not a lot. Communication is not only expressing yourself but also understanding what other people say. Unfortunately, when we say we want to communicate, we seem to be eager to express us first. We want to be understood. Understanding the other one? Well, maybe. But if couples fight again over the same question, it proves that communication never works out. Sounds negative, doesn’t it?

Fortunately, I am the person always looking at the bright side. Here is a very useful tip for me all the time: jump before your leap. Before deciding to stay in a relationship, make sure you have similar opinion about things. Of course, your might have very distinct personalities, but remember to see if you think in similar ways. If so, you can save time and have less difficulty communicating with each other.

You are the most welcome to leave your comment if you think there are some other things important besides similar thoughts. You can also try to convince me if you think love is the only important thing in a relationship. Thanks for your time!

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My picky opinion about using languages

I was teaching in a quiet coffee shop this afternoon, but it wasn't quite anymore since several girls came in speaking English loudly. In the very beginning, I didn't know if they are Taiwanese or not. Yet, after a few minutes, I realized that they are actually Taiwanese because they started to talk in Mandarin. They kept being the most noisy group in the shop. In their conversation, it's about half Mandarin and half English. Among the English part, the most words I heard is "shit". Yes, "shit". It's really uncomfortable hearing that from time to time, especially from girls at the age of 13-15.

It is a very interesting phenomenon in Taiwan: we tend to admire people who speak fluent English. English is one of the subjects in school, but very few people really like English and use it well. That's the reason why people envy those with proficient English ability, especially speaking ability (because you can only know if a person's English is good from his/her speaking ability at first)

Consequently, you can always find people speaking English loudly but not really fluently in public places. Sometimes I call it sort of "show off".

From a very picky perspective, if you want to speak a language, just use it thoroughly. It is reasonable sometimes if you happen to forget how to say a word in your non-native language. But using English WORDS when you speak Chinese?? That's very weird. It shows nothing but how bad both your English and Chinese are. Because you can not say a whole sentence in English, and also not be able to know how to say the ENGLISH WORD in CHINESE. Of course, if you are in English class or having language exchange, that would be a totally different situation. Instead, students who try hard to express themselves are supposed to be encouraged.

MRT in Kaohsiung

We finally have MRT in Kaohsiung, HOORAY!! Though it is not as convenient as MRT in Taipei since we only have one route now, I am still quite happy about that.

Several stations were designed as art works. This is one of them named 'Central Park'. Later on I will take photos of other characteristic stations.

Facebook

Feel comfortable on it so far. My account is listed below and welcome add me as one of your friends. :)

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1245008293

How Much Is Much Enough?

A friend of my friend had question about applying for membership on a site. I was the only one he knows who's done that, so he asked for my help.

We met in a coffee shop close to where I teach, and, of course, we chatted a bit while being on the net.

When he knew that I am pretty busy everyday. He asked, "since you are so busy, how do you have time to be in a relationship?"

I answered, "there won't be a boyfriend popping up just because I have enough free time. And if I had one, having not enough time or being too busy would not be an excuse to break up."

I don't think this is a time matter. When he/she wants to break up with you, there are always lots of good reasons. When he/she is really in love with you from the bottom of the heart, distance, time, or even race is not even a problem. Besides, thanks to invention of technology, we have various ways now to communicate with people instantly. We don't even to be in the same place to talk to someone! I am sure there are so many ways to show that you still love and are concerning about your boyfriend/girlfriend.

Still, this is a very interesting question. How much time means enough time? 24 hours a day? Two hours a day? Do we really need a SCHEDULE when it comes to dealing with our relationship?

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New Semester

Hi my dear friends, sorry for not updating as much as possible, but I am unbelievably busy in the new semester!! That is, I take 3 graduate courses and 1 undergraduate one this semester. It is supposed to be easier that last semester because I took 5 in total (4 graduate and 1 under).

I don't know what happened to professors during winter vacation. They assign so much homework and presentation in this semester. I almost have to hand in one assignment and do one presentation each week, not to mention preparation and review.

So I think I don't have much time left this semester. But I'll try my best to update as soon as possible, and, or course, beautiful photos about Taiwan.